We asked kids this question for years. Did you have fun? After every game. After every practice. After the school play. The kids always said yes. Even when they didn’t.
The question is a trap. Did you have fun is also please tell me this was worth it. Tell me the time and the money and the alarm at six on a Saturday were worth it. Tell me I’m okay as a sports parent.
Kids feel that weight immediately.
We ask three things instead. We rotate them.
What was the part you were nervous about going in?
Was there a moment that felt good?
Did anyone make you laugh?
The first acknowledges something hard, which there always was. The second lets them pick a small thing, which is what kids actually have. The third tells you about the kid who made them laugh.
Kids answer all three. They never answered did you have fun with anything but yes.
The other problem: did you have fun puts the responsibility for the day’s emotional grade on the kid. Whether the day was good becomes their job. They don’t want that job. They want to come home.
So we dropped the question. ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������