What to say before a game at 13–14
The silence move. They don't want a speech. Most don't want any words at all. Here's what they actually need.
What they're feeling
- · Self-conscious about being seen with you.
- · Already in their own head about the game.
- · Worried about something specific they don't want to talk about.
- · Wanting you to be there. Wanting you to not say much.
- · Carrying middle-school weight that has nothing to do with the game.
What to say (pick one)
- "I'll be there."
- "Music?"
- "Text me if you need anything."
Then stop talking.
What not to say
- "What position are you playing today?"
- "Did you eat enough?"
- "Coach is going to give you minutes if you..."
- "Anything that requires more than a one-word answer."
The rule
At this age, the most loving thing you can offer before a game is presence without performance. Drive them there. Put on their music. Be quiet.
If they bring it up
- · If they bring up the game, follow their lead. Don't add. Don't escalate. Match the temperature exactly.
- · If they want to talk about something else, talk about that. School. A friend. The song. Whatever they pick.
- · If they're frustrated about something on the team, listen. Don't fix it before the game. Just hold it.
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Before a game at 13–14
- · Quiet is the script. Don't fill it.
- · Their music, not yours. Let them control the soundtrack.
- · Drop them, go. Don't stand at the gate. Don't wave from the parking lot.
parentcoachdesk.com/scripts
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