After a cut. What to say.
What to say when your kid doesn't make the team. The script for the hardest car ride of the season.
What they're feeling
- · Crushed and humiliated.
- · Like they failed in public.
- · Wondering if they're good enough at all.
- · Watching to see how badly you're going to react.
What to say (pick one)
- "I love watching you play. That doesn't change."
- "This stings. It's okay that it stings."
- "Let's just go home."
Then stop talking.
What not to say
- "The coach made a mistake."
- "You'll make it next year if you just work harder."
- "I can't believe they cut you. Did you see who made it?"
The rule
Don't fix it. Don't explain it. Don't argue with the result. Just be there.
If they bring it up
- · Let them be angry without correcting them.
- · If they want to talk about what happened, listen. Don't offer solutions yet.
- · Give it a few days before any conversation about what's next.
- · If they want to try again next year, that's their call to make.
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When they get cut
- · Say less than you think you need to.
- · Let the silence ride on the way home.
- · Don't make next year's plan before they've processed today.
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